"Be still and know that I am God." (Psalm 46:10a) My deepest desire is to know God more and to love Him more. A couple of weeks ago my pastor gave a message about making time, carving out a niche from our busyness, just to be with our Father. He said only by spending time with Him will we really develop that intimate relationship. God gave us the process in the above scripture. "Be still..." I confess that's a problem for me. The few times in my life when God has gotten my attention and put me in situations where I am almost (I'm human...hence the "almost.") totally concentrated on Him have been wonderful. I've come away renewed, focused, energized, purposeful, and with a sense that I am deeply loved by my Father. One would think that having had those experiences I would be more consistent in finding time daily with my Lord. But I still struggle with "be still." Most days since I renewed my acquaintance with my Savior (about six years ago), I have awakened with the words of a worship song running through my brain. The song may vary from day to day. I don't know why this has occurred, but it is a wonderful way to start the day. I'll lay in bed for a few minutes, savoring the message of the song. But then...I hit the ground running. Assignments or reading for school, tasks for church, or household chores all pull me into their grip immediately. Sometimes, and not even this is consistent, I can squeeze in about 15-20 minutes of reading a daily devotional and/or Scripture. Then it's back into the thick of the day. Paul says in Romans 7, "I can will it, but I can't do it. I decide to do good, but I don't really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don't result in action. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time. (The Message)" I want to, but I can't "be still." After several weeks of that pace, I feel parched and starved for time with my Father. I long for a place to go that is peaceful. In the book I am currently reading, Having a Mary Heart In a Martha World by Joanna Weaver, the author suggests finding a space in your home to designate for a quiet time. This doesn't work for me. My apartment is small, and it is impossible for me to seclude myself from things needing attention. I need to find a retreat to help me "be still."  I grew up in western Massachusetts. There are mountains to sit and gaze at, absorbing their beautiful and majestic presence,
country roads to stroll down, often not meeting a car or another person for long periods, 
or streams to sit by and listen to the gently moving water amidst the other sounds of nature. "Be still..." 
I often find myself longing for my church, Reunion, to have its own building - a sanctuary I could run to and remove myself from all the tasks clamoring for my attention. (Although, if I'm honest, I would probably still have a hard time there as well - I would still be "doing.") And even when I do eventually find a space where I can detach, it usually takes me about two hours for my brain to stop wandering and "detox" from the treadmill I'm on. "Be still..." I know to conquer this dilemma will take an intentional act on my part. If any of you reading this have any solutions, let me know. In the meantime, I still struggle with "be still." | 
